I am an only child (spoiled, but not a brat!), so everyday with two kids is a new experience for me. Over the years I have had to learn many lessons about how to be the parent to siblings.
In our case, we have two boys who are now at ages (almost 4 and 6) where their interests are the same and they pretty much want all of the same things. I have two light sabers, two foam swords, two skateboards, two scooters, the list goes on and on in doubles…
I often struggle with feelings of guilt about Maddox always getting the hand-me-downs, feeling like he is always tagging along to all of Brayden’s activities and not getting to do the same things that his brother gets to do. At the same time, I realize that he is two years younger and his time will come. After all, he doesn’t know any different, right?
But the thing that I struggle with most is teaching them both the lesson that just because one of them gets something, it doesn’t mean that the other will get it too.
Do we need to keep things even with two kids?
Every time I am in a store and I see something for one kid, I always feel like I should get something for the other one. I feel like I cannot get a shirt for Brayden without having to get one for Maddox and vice versa.
Recently I have been really clear about the fact that if Maddox needs a new pair of shoes, that doesn’t mean that Brayden will get a pair. Brayden seems to get it now, but oh my goodness, it is so hard for me not to feel like I have to buy them both shoes even if just one of them needs a pair!
What have your experiences been with this? If you have multiple children, do you buy them all the same things at the same time? How do you teach your kids this important lesson?