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Over the years I have heard so many stories of people who have found their purpose or calling.  Some have described the moment they knew it as an inner peace; others have described it as a nagging intuitive feeling that they just had to do something.  What is it going to look like when I find mine?

Is it possible that I could be doing what I am supposed to be doing and not even know?  I am wondering if I will even recognize it when it happens.   Hence the following Oscar Wilde quote:

“Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.”

What I do know is that I have several things that I really feel will happen to me at some point in my life.  One of those things is that I really feel like I am going to get a windfall.  Weird right?

When I say windfall, I mean that I really think that I am going to win the lottery or come into financial comfort somehow.   One thing that I can say about myself is that I am not materialistic, but I do like nice things.  I realize money is not what creates happiness and yet I really think that I am going to win something big.  I even started buying lotto tickets just because I figured if I didn’t play I couldn’t win.

But what if my windfall is something that I will create?  I feel like if I could find my purpose and how I am going to express my potential, I would absolutely hit the jackpot.

English: Pot of gold under post! Consolation p...

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I am definitely a believer that we are active participants in our world and accomplishments and what an amazing gift it would be to do what I was meant to do.

I have to admit that since I have been writing down all of my sentiments here I feel pretty comfy and in many ways right where I should be.  Could the windfall be actually figuring out where this will all go and what it is supposed to become?

How much of what we do in our lives has to do with us and our actions and how much of it has nothing to do with us at all?  You have heard the saying “timing is everything”, is it timing? Or God?

I really feel like I have been given the gift of time in that I am staying home with my boys and yet I feel like I need to do more.  Maybe it is because this is the first year that I haven’t been a “working mom” and somehow just being a mom feels like I am not making enough of a contribution.

Where does that feeling come from?

I will never forget one of the first conversations Brent and I had about this topic.  I had spent so many years in school, ran a successful event coordination business for the last 5 years and was used to always having so many irons in the fire.  I was crying, telling him that I really felt like I should be doing something meaningful with my life.  Notice all the shoulds?

What determines what you should do anyway?

Brent’s only response to me was that I was doing the most meaningful thing I could possibly do in being an amazing mom to our children.

{At least I try to be amazing.  Some days, amazing is absolutely impossible.  Some days, it is all I can do to just be :)}

Yes.  For now I think that is it.  That is and should be enough… right?

What is it that you feel like you should be doing, right now?  When and how will you know that you have hit the “jackpot”?