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In my shoes today…

These are literally my shoes today.  But I guess you probably figured that out.  I wasn’t kidding when I said I would give you the messy truth!

My little lump of a three year old is curled up into a tiny ball with a Migraine headache.  We were up all night and Brent is on a business trip.  Need I say more?

Well, you probably know me by now and know that I will absolutely say more.

Do you sometimes feel like the “powers that be” are trying to show you how strong you are and what you are capable of handling?

I absolutely hate Migraines. 

My relationships with Migraines began when I met Brent.  If I thought that the stupid Migraines were horrible and inconvienient back then, flash forward to now.  No comparison.

Maddox had his first Migraine when he was about 18 months old.  We had just gotten the great news that his Hydronephrosis (a kidney thing) was normalized and our trips to the children’s hospital for ultrasound were no longer necessary (or so we thought).

It wasn’t until he was 2 1/2 that we got an actual Migraine diagnosis because of the fact that everything else had been ruled out.  So the first 18 months, I worried about his kidneys, and everyday since I have worried about the Migraines (which was really a worry about all the horrific possibilities until everything was tested).

We had a Ct Scan, blood work, MRI and most recently an EEG.  Good times.

I have never had a Migraine personally, but watching my husband and son going through the pain and suffering is something just indescribable.  The good news for Brent is that he can take a medication to lessen or eliminate the symptoms, but because Maddox is so young, we have to just ride the train.  And my goodness it is a ride.

I guess the reassuring part of it for me at this point is that it seems to follow a pretty predictable pattern, not to mention it is not life threatening.  I completely realize how fortunate we are for that.  I often times feel sorry for myself (and so sorry for him) for having this be a part of our reality and daily lives, and then I have to step back and put it all into perspective.

It is so hard sometimes to keep it all in perspective when you are right smack in the middle of it, isn’t it?

When it starts, I jump into “migraine mom mode”.  I hop up, grab 3 towels, lay one out on the bed, have the other two for backup and brace myself for the first 12 hours of my little limp noodle.  Sleeping, crying, puking, squinting, more puking, more sleeping, sometimes even seizures…  You get the idea, not purdy.

Then the next few days typically are pretty ok, except for the fact that Maddox is dizzy and can’t walk or focus, yet everything else is pretty normal.  I have been told that there is nothing that can be done to stop these headaches, and so far, after two years, I still refuse to believe that.

As mothers, isn’t it our natural inclination to do whatever we can possibly think of to make things better for our babies?

Old Chinese medical chart on acupuncture meridians

Image via Wikipedia

My search for alternative treatment led me to a Cranial Sacral therapist, Homeopathy, and Chinese Medicine and today’s migraine will mark the longest span of time we have had in between episodes…5 months.  It is not perfect, but it is still progress and in the right direction!

I will share more on our alternative medicine journey in the future as I could go on and on and on… but you knew that!

Today’s Mantra:

I am grateful that my baby is healthy and this will pass like it always does.  It could be so much worse.  I am thankful to be in my shoes today.

What’s it like in your shoes today?

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