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The Circus

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On my mind a lot lately has been the subject of marriage and how to really keep it alive in the midst of raising two young children.  It is so hard to even have a simple conversation like “how was your day”, let alone the really pressing adult topics that keep two people who share everything, connected.  It seems like you really have to make a HUGE effort to spend time together and talk which is something that just used to happen constantly.  I find myself just wanting to sit on the couch and veg out watching Teen Mom ( another one of my dirty little secrets!… I am letting it all hang out huh?) when I know deep down inside that I should turn it off and talk with my husband or better yet- give him a massage or something much more… but I am tired!  And after a long day at work, he is tired too…but never seems that tired, if you know what I mean.

 So how do we take care of our children, our marriage, our homes, ourselves and our dreams??  How do we find our passion and meaning when we rarely can muster up enough energy to do things that were a daily occurrence in our lives? 

One huge difference between Brent and I is that he is so religious about taking care of his body with exercise.  It is just a habit like brushing his teeth and it is something that his body craves.

For me, my body craves dessert, french fries, and sitting on the couch with MTV– oh yeah and don’t forget the chocolate.  I do make it to the gym, but it feels like a chore.  I suppose when I am done, I feel proud of myself and am a little more tolerant of whining kids (unless I took the 5:30am class in which case I am just plain exhausted by 3pm!).   But exercise is supposed to be the best way to take care of your body and mind!  That’s what the experts say… but I am not convinced that is all.  So my latest adventure is a plan to get more “Zen” for lack of a better way to put it.

Yoga lotus

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Oh I can just see it now… sitting in the middle of my living room floor in the cross legged position in deep meditation while the kids tackle each other, pull on my ponytail and shout.  But it doesn’t bother me, not one bit, I am balanced- calm, cool and collected…

Yeah right!  This is my life remember??

But seriously.  I am going to try to “Zenify” (did I just make up a new word?).  How?  Not quite sure yet, but I will figure that out too.  My goodness, I have a lot of work to do.

How do you find your balance and “Zenfiy” yourself?