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I have been keeping a digital journal now for several months and it is always so interesting to look back and see where you were in another snipet in time.

Here is where I was just a few short weeks ago…

Photo by Rachel Neumann http://rachelneumann.com/blog/

Sometimes I have to wonder if Maddox does things just to get the last word.  Is that possible coming from an almost four year old?  Let’s talk potty training, or the lack thereof in our case.

At age 2 and a half we were well on our way to the world of under roos with Brayden.   So I totally expected that since Maddox was our second child, he would automatically potty train sooner than Bray did, or at least around the same time.  Yeah right.  Sometimes I think he does things just to remind me that I am definitely not an expert; he is determined to keep me on my toes!

Flash forward to the present  and we are still in pull ups!  We can’t even do diapers anymore, they are pretty much too small and despite multiple attempts at bribery, it is apparent that this kid just doesn’t care.  Not only does Maddox not tell us when he has to go potty, he could have a huge pee pee leak (I am talking soaking socks!) and just continue on as if nothing is out of the ordinary.  Really??

So here we are, Brent and I, completely desperate to ditch the diapers after five and a half years of diaper changing, and yet Maddox is just hanging out in pull ups!  For the longest time I was trying to be mother of the year, not pushing the potty training, saying he will do it when he is ready and waiting for him to let me know, but I am so done.

So where does that leave me? 

What do we do when we are so done with something but our kids have a different plan for us?

It is so challenging.

I think it all goes back to the conversation about our kids, who they are and the fact that they have a lot to teach us.

The lesson in all of this has to be this (or at least I hope, cause I need something to grasp onto here… ):

Maddox is who he is.  He has always been who he is.  He is brilliant, passionate, emotive and determined.  No matter what my time schedule is, what my plan is, and what I expect.  It will be the way it is right now, until he is ready.

The flip of that is this:

I am also who I am.  I have always been who I am.  I am loving, nurturing, kind and passionate.  No matter what, I will always love my kids, do my best as a mother, and strive to foster in them all of their wonderful qualities.

That being said, there will be great days, good days, and downright bad days.  I will lose my patience, lose my positivity, and possibly lose my mind (let’s hope just temporarily!).

At the end of the day, I think the only answer is that we have to meet ourselves and our “spirited” children where they are right now, day to day, minute to minute.  If we can try our best to accept each moment as it happens and cut ourselves some slack when we absolutely lose it (not uncommon in my house!), we will get through this faze and then move onto the real tantrums… dun dun dun…. Adolescence.   Just think of all the extra practice we will have had by then!

I can’t wait until the pull ups are gone.  It’s going to be a $50 per month raise for me (at least!).  I think one thing that will keep me going is thinking about what I am going to spend that money on.  Pedicure? Starbucks? Wine (after one of those days)? Oh the possibility.  Just like Brent can get a raise at work, this will be my much deserved raise!

Man, my boss is sure stingy with those raises.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the next installment on our potty training progress!!!